Monday, August 9, 2010

Crotches in the mist

Marian has requested I do another solo post. Requested politely, I might add, with no threats whatsoever. You see what happens when you play nice, Madam Robot? No one has to be chased anywhere by peasants with pitchforks.

Crotches are highly adaptive entities. Given enough time, they will adjust to their surroundings and flourish, just like rabbits, roaches, and boy bands.

Our first crotch exhibits several interesting adaptations. Note the aggressive markings, in this case firearms, to dissuade predators. Upon closer inspection, these are not guns at all, but optical illusions created by skin coloration, belt placement, and lasers. In a similar vein, the distracting sheen of the legs blinds potential predators and prey alike. Finally, the belt can be used in mating rituals that our researchers can only describe as "kinky."

Next is an exotic crotch, photographed in the far off land of That Place Over There, Y'know, Where The Things Are. While its sepia tone brings to mind the kinder, gentler days of yore, do not be fooled. This crotch is ready for action, and I don't mean gun fights.

Actually, it IS ready for gun fights, but I was referring to OTHER action.

The corset, while not technically an adornment of the crotch, is a time honored tradition amongst people who have crotches. It highlights geographical features while minimizing unwanted topography, creating what scienticians refer to as "hawtness." The simple, hip hugging boy shorts add to the effect, creating an entire pelvic region ready for love.

And gun fights.