Scholarly Exploits

Marian has requested I do another update. Despite exhaustion, a grueling laboratory schedule, a case of The Plague, forest fires, and a local outbreak of rabid wombats, I have decided to accede to her wishes and write a post. I do this purely as a friend and researcher, and assure you, dear readers, that it has nothing at all to do with any video footage my co-blogger may or may not have.

Tonight, we observe crotchal dichotomy. Crotches are complex and mysterious creatures, and it is important to understand some of the more common signals they present.

Our first subject is an excellent example of Discipulus Immunda, or student groin. This young pelvis is full of life and vitality, and is not afraid to advertise this fact to the world at large. The thigh markings Marian erroneously assumed to be bruises are actually complex pictographs, indicating vitality and yearning. This is emphasized by the open shirt; this is an open, welcoming, crotch. And there's really no doubt what this crotch wants.

To learn about calculus.

Our next crotch appears similar to the first, at least to the untrained eye, but do not be deceived; while our last example displayed an eager openness, this one shows a fierce territoriality. Observe the stainless steel covering and precision-machined mechanisms, the aggressive tribal tattoos, and the sinister lace doilies. All of these add up to a thigh junction that wants nothing to do with outsiders, and woe be the one foolish enough to venture too close. This is clearly a groin with no desire for company, much less a "study partner."

It's probably a Latin history major or something.