Monday, September 20, 2010

The Aesthetic Realities of Possessing a Large Pelvic Girdle

Why hello there fellow science nuts! Today is a great day to stroke our minds with yet another brilliant piece of crotchological research. Today you're in for a special treat. I have located and recorded evidence of some (not so) rare examples of ample crotches in SL. In order to prepare for this analysis (which was quite a chore, there was a lot to work with, hence the long delay between article posts) I have employed the expertise of amature crotchologist and regular reader, Dr. Paulina of Who Let The Dorks Out? (Did you ever find this out? I was wondering the same thing yesterday while browsing crotches and sipping lemonade on my front porch last Wednesday).

One of the most apparent inferences one might make relating to the size of one's pelvic region is that ones crotch ornamentation correlates significantly to the size of one's groin. The leading hypothesis in the field states that: As crotch width and breadth increases, pelvic region decor availability will suffer a considerable decrease. This is for several reasons. First, as Dr. Paulina explained to me over strawberry milkshakes, a large crotch requires decorations which are large in size, so as to properly complement the natural wonder of such a sizable pelvic girdle. While one could ornament one's crotch with tiny trinkets, the sheer volume of pride required would cost a fortune. Thus, because of the cost incurred, many large crotches are not well (or tastefully) adorned.

Contrast the intricate delicacy of the above small crotch with the inane simplicity of the crotch below. Imagine the tailored panties above encapsulating the manhood of our larger crotch specimen. This exercise in imagination will indubitably lead you to a vision of how tasteless and exaggerated the seam work would look against the lower larger crotch. Tiny ornamentation, while enhancing the aesthetic volume, also increases the kitch-factor (a very complex scientific measurement system, Alarren will explain) significantly.

As further evidence of what we call "Big-Crotch, Simple-Clothes-Syndrome" (referring to the theory posited above) we may examine the quality, or lack thereof, of the unfinished waistband on the tropical orange shorts worn by this specimen. This suggests that the owner of this groin is cheap, very likely as result of the high-fiscal demands that large crotches put upon their owners.

Lastly, we have this exceptional and very rare specimen. The possessor of this crotch has decided to adorn himself simply so as to make the most of his natural size. The sophisticated choice to expose the darkly tinted man-fur suggests an intellect capable of refined aesthetic understanding. Notice how the quaint bow mimics the shape of the ample protrusion of the crotch, and how the panties cradle the loins in such a way as to both emphasize and protect the pelvic girdle.

As our readers can clearly see, there are many advantages to being in possession of a large, however, care must be taken when choosing crotch decoration and protection. Dr. Paulina suggests that if your crotch is rather large, you ought to pay special attention to avoiding crotch parasites and aggressive insects, such as the rare but dangerous crotchsquito. Furthermore, one may wish to consider consultations with a certified financial planner in order to subvert the natural tendency to over spend on crotch ornamentation.